you left evidence

smartbalance.jpg

don’t be fooled by the smiley: this is the kind of note that really throws you off balance. (it’s been more than a month since she received this note, and kiki from boston says she’s still shaking in her boots a little.)

21 responses to “you left evidence

  1. I have totally received a note like this before from a roommate and her name was Erin. I love how that last sentence tries to sugarcoat the sneak attack of the first part of the note. Oh and of course there’s the ever-present overly-used smiley. Sometimes I like using those at work in an email, like:

    Dear Boss,

    I seem to have quite a bit on my plate this week; however, it really is a great opportunity for me to increase productivity. That said, I will be unable to do items 25 thru 74, just so you know, because I’m, like, you know, one person.

    Thanks!!!
    :-)

    Me

    lol. Love this blog btw!

  2. kiki needs to buy her own food. fuck off, kiki. :)

  3. Where can I buy tee-shirts with these images on them?

    Do you have any merchandise?

  4. i never care if roomates eat my food in moderation. everybody gets hungry, why be so anal about it? like jerri blank says – “it’s like a commune. take what ya need, leave what ya have.”

  5. love this blog!

    i wonder what kind of “evidence” one could leave behind… crumbs, a dirty spoon? what?

  6. What did she eat? The handwriting isn’t clear.

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  9. In 2001, I solved a “disappearing food” problem without these little notes. For some time (3 weeks or so), I bough some very nice food, put my name on it with a “do not touch — not for human consumption!” sign, and watched it disappear. I also found out about the fine taste of the thief – sugar was high in the rank. So on a random day, I placed a box of very nice sugar treats with the same sign, in the same place, and — as expected — it disappeared pretty soon. That was 9-10AM. By 2PM, the horse laxative I put in the food made two co-workers abandon the office in a hurry, only to spend the next 24 to 48 hours in the hospital.
    Nothing was ever said (it could lead to lawsuit). If needed, I would claim the treats where for my horses, and “not for human consumption” — notice a similarity? I immediately stopped eating the food I left behind, just in case they thought of doing the same. Somehow, food never disappeared again.
    Next time I would use ink — permanent ink — just in case the idiots choose the lawsuit option.

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  11. Has anyone realized that sometimes the only way you can communicate with your room-mate is by leaving a note. All my room-mates keep very different schedules and I am not going to wait around the house just to talk to them. I will however willingly take pictures of my notes and post them, if you would like.

  12. You know I have this same problem with my room mate. If it isn’t ketchup or mayo (to me isn’t a big deal) he will actually take the food right off my plate. The other night I was eating, and he came in to gab. He then started eating the chicken right off my plate. I asked him WTF… and he said… oh don’t worry I will make you some more. So now I guard my food like I’m a prison inmate.

  13. Did anybody notice we’re talking about margarine here? http://www.smartbalance.com/home.html

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