the mad bomber, act 1: “sorry about the language”

i don’t want to oversell this, but the following series of three signs (sent in by a health-club patron who wishes to remain nameless) just became my new all-time favorite. i love so many things about richard g. sells’s first masterpiece below that i don’t even know where to begin.

lac1.jpg

acts 2 and 3 to come shortly…

27 responses to “the mad bomber, act 1: “sorry about the language”

  1. Oh please. I cleaned at a corporate office building. I had to scrub the Men’s Room, which reeked of a gym locker. I found hemmoroid cream once. But the worst was the bowel that was always all over the walls and the seat and the back of the toilet tank. My sister and I took turns cleaning every other night. We took to labeling the guy E.B.B. (Explosive Bowel Boy). Every day, he’d explode his bowels over both pots in the men’s room that had the two stalls. It was just about the nastiest thing I’ve ever had to clean up. Then there was the time someone in the Men’s room overflowed the toilet. It was my sister’s night to clean. They didnt even bother to let anyone know. She ended up putting four extra hours in fighting with the wet/dry vac that kept shutting off trying to clean up the pond that was left behind. In my janitorial experience, the men’s room was always far worse than the ladies’.

  2. A truly fabulous note. I love the unintended (?) pun the best.

  3. Wow…that letter is insane. I loved it. Especially the threat to put “cameras in the ladies room”. Exactly how would you follow through on such a threat without breaking 20 laws?

  4. Throughout the entire note, he manages to keep up the pretense that this shitty disaster was *accidental*. Maybe he thinks ‘ladies’ are just too nice to do that sort of thing?

    This was no boating accident!

  5. I bet anything that there wasn’t even any poop on the walls. He just wanted to put up this notice so that he’d have his bases covered when someone took him to court for putting cameras in the ladies room.

  6. Haha a coworker just showed me this website. I’m stoked. This is great. It reminds me of this post on my blog.

  7. Deze side is top! Goedgekeurd door John en Willeke. Neem ook eens een kijkje op onze vernieuwde side en laat een berichtje achter in ons gastenboek. Groetjes uit Braband.

  8. Poop on the wall… Hmm… Sounds like mr Hankey the Christmas poo! Hidy-ho! Was this message written during Christmas?

  9. My husband and I manage a small professional building and we clean the restrooms, as well. I have wanted to put up a sign like this for 10 years. SH#T like this really does happen, more often than I like to admit.

  10. we had a mad bomber extreme using the only (co-ed) toilet on a floor of about fifty people once. the worst part was the suspicion. i must have mentally blamed at least ten of the weirdest guys on the floor for it.

  11. Ok, I know I am probably wrong. But I can’t help but think sometimes that women’s bathrooms have to be more disgusting. Especially when based on the constant foulness of the ladies rooms in my office. Sorry to be blunt but do you have any idea how many times I have seen blood and or shit ALL over the toilet seats?? It truly makes me ill. And to think I would for a reputable company- a state agency for that matter.

  12. the notes just keep getting better. i can’t wait for #2 and #3.

  13. I am firmly on this man’s side. Cleaning up somebody else feces may be one of the few valid reasons to unleash both the ALLCAPS of rage and multiple exlamation points.

  14. This does happen. My friend works as a camp counselor during the summers, and he said that there was a kid who did this on a regular basis. On purpose.

    Yuck.

  15. This is priceless. When I was 18 I worked as a Janitorial Supervisor, and in most of the commercial buildings I had to clean, the Ladies rooms smelled and looked a lot worse then the mens rooms. I would say it was a 70/30 split. No offense, ladies, but it is true.

    I never understood why ladies will hover over a ladies toilet knowing full well that there is not a lot of risk for pissing on the seat by men. My Wife has never pissed on our toilet seat. Men hover because men do piss all over toilet seats. Hell, when I lift a publc seat, I do it with my Boot, and I also flush with my Boots.

  16. Women hover cause they are too damn lazy to put a toilet coversheet down or line it with toilet paper…

  17. Women hover because other women hover. Think about it.

  18. psipsina // May 23rd 2007 at 1:21 pm

    Women hover because other women hover. Think about it.

    What came first the chicken or the egg?

  19. I’ve never understood the hovering thing myself. I think those toilet seat covers are a waste of time too. You’re way more likely to pick up germs from touching the handle, the faucets, the doorknob, and things like phones and keyboards. Just keep washing your hands (and the rest of your body) and you’ll be fine.

    By the way, in my 26 years of using ladies’ rooms, I never saw anything close to something like this.

  20. Pingback: Top Posts « WordPress.com

  21. I used to clean at an office building. In my experience, the men’s was dirtier, smellier, and messier on a day-to-day basis, maybe an unflushed turd now and then, but all of that was nothing compared to the monthly (hmmm…) fecal freakouts in the ladies’ room.

    It’s just mind-blowingly disgusting. We’re talking hand-smeared poo EVERYWHERE. Entire turds *outside* the toilet.

    Also, the writer of this note doesn’t seem to quite understand the meaning of the word “ignorant.” Nor “stool” for that matter.

  22. Pingback: So you think it's funny... To let your four-year old pee on the seat in the women's bathroom « Natalia Antonova

  23. I guess we all make that same choice every day. Either we: 1. Not poop on the floor. or 2. Bowel explosion at our own house. Richard never said if he would come to my house and clean it, if I so chose to excerise the second option. How ’bout it, Richard?? (Richard G. Sells….. sounds funny. I bet he sure as hell don’t sell cleaning supplies or this would not be an issue. LOL).

  24. I worked at a convenience store and dealt with this numerous times when I went to clean the women’s room. Overall, the men’s room was more disgusting, I mean on a day-to-day basis. But the times I had to clean up shit it was ALWAYS the women’s room. And yes, Elliot, there was poop on the wall. Smeared. Wall, floor, all over the toilet, even poop on the sink.

    I wondered if maybe it wasn’t someone trying to empty her colostomy bag and making a huge mess.

  25. Pingback: the mad bomber, act 2: please stay seated during the entire performance « passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers

  26. Pingback: the mad bomber, act 3: we are watching you « passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers

  27. I am laughing uncontrollably. The comments here are just too funny!

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