i’ll break your arm


i just love the backwards logic of “don’t touch” notes that add a more specific (and superfluous) imperative as an afterthought — like “or eat” in this one.

as an interesting coda to this note, jim in minneapolis says his former roommate “later got a can of pink spray paint and circled the potholes in our driveway, drew arrows to them, and wrote THIS IS AN ISSUE on the asphalt. he drove a jeep, too, so I don’t know what his problem was.”

7 responses to “i’ll break your arm

  1. He’s talking about actual shit, isn’t he?

  2. That’s really funny. Cool blog, by the way.

  3. This one gets an A+ for redundancy. I mean, that little afterthought of “don’t use” — wouldn’t using involve touching and therefore already not permitted? And what’s up with the obsession with pink?

  4. Maybe the guy is just a big Stripes fan.

    Psycho:The name’s Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I’ll kill you.
    Leon: Ooooooh.
    Psycho: You just made the list, buddy. Also, I don’t like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meathooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I’ll kill you. And I don’t like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me, and I’ll kill you.

  5. hahaha. the potholes part got me. that would be funny to see.

  6. Kelly Cip Loves Daniel Cipriani 4eva

    Why don’t they just flush?

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