to put it as politely as possible

mollysmall.jpg

from andrea in astoria, queens, who promises more to come.

(yeah, it’s hard to read, but worth squinting over, i promise.)

UPDATE: andrea has posted a transcription of the note here.

43 responses to “to put it as politely as possible

  1. I couldn’t read all of it, but I didn’t look that unreasonable to me. I guess it would have been nicer if they could have talked about it in person, since it wasn’t that big of a deal!

  2. As long as they’re taken with a bette camera. Can’t read!

  3. I’d reeeeally love it if some of the less legible – but still totally AWESOME – notes could come with text transcription.

    Smoochie Boochies!

  4. Oh, and take care of that bagel.

  5. I couldn’t read all of it, could anyone post a transcript here?

  6. Transcription:

    Molly —

    It’s starting to become a habit of you falling asleep on the couch and me writing[? unclear] it off for you. You don’t need to apologize — it happens, I understand! However, you have a bedroom, and I’d appreciate it if when you started to feel sleepy, you went in your room. Sometimes I need that communal space to be communal, and I don’t want to tiptoe around. I know you don’t care if I wake you up or I won’t bother you, but to put it as politely as possible, it bothers me. Thanks so much for understanding and please take care of your bagel you left out overnight

    Thanks
    —Amy

  7. I don’t think it’s such an unreasonable request to not regularly fall asleep in shared spaces. Though it’s probably a face-to-face thing, isn’t that what whiteboards were invented for? That, and the stunning headaches they give when you use dry-erase markers too much?

  8. I think this is what it says, but I can’t make out one of the words.

    Molly,

    It’s starting to become a habit of you falling asleep on the couch and me turning it off for you. You don’t need to apologize, – it happens, I understand! However, you have a bedroom, and I’d appreciate it if when you started to feel sleepy, you went in your room. Sometimes I need that communal space to be communal and I don’t want to tiptoe around. I know you don’t care if I wake you [?] I won’t bother you, but to put it as politely as possible, it bothers me. Thanks so much for understanding and please take care of your bagel. You left it out overnight.

    Thanks!
    – Amy

  9. I once fell asleep during an exam and wrote half the paper like that.It wasn’t as legible as that ofcourse.Cool post!
    Check out my blog as well.Peace.

  10. Omg, you sound as obnoxious as I am!

    Haha, just kidding. But in all seriousness I had a roommate do the same thing to me, in this case regarding food – she told me at the beginning of the semester we lived together that I could eat her food as long as I didn’t “take the last one or anything.” So I followed these rules, thinking everything was fine…until I found notes posted in various cabinets saying things along the lines of “STOP EATING ALL MY FOOD, I KNOW YOU ARE” and “HOW DARE YOU GO INTO MY SPACE TO STEAL MY FOOD.” I was like, jesus christ…if she had just TOLD me she didn’t want me eating her food then I wouldn’t have! Yeesh.

    So yeah, I totally sympathize with the whole passive-aggressive note thing. lol…

  11. Sorry for all of the confusion guys- I had to snap this picture quickly with my camera phone because I knew it would be gone as soon as my roommate read it. I promise, next time I will take a clearer picture.

    Lucania,
    your transcription was very close, here is what it says:

    Molly,

    It’s starting to become a habit of you falling asleep on the couch and me turning it [the television] off for you. You don’t need to apologize, – it happens, I understand! However, you have a bedroom, and I’d appreciate it if when you started to feel sleepy, you went in your room. Sometimes I need that communal space to be communal and I don’t want to tiptoe around. I know you don’t care if I wake you up or I won’t I won’t bother you, but to put it as politely as possible, it bothers me. Thanks so much for understanding and please take care of your bagel you left out overnight.

    Thanks!
    – Amy

  12. Somebody’s unfit for communal living, I’d say 😀

  13. I think this is a classic example of a passive aggressive note. Why doesn’t the note-writer just wake the person up and send her off to her room when she is sleeping? If she does it more than once then chances are that “Molly” will eventually learn her lesson. More importantly, why doesn’t she speak to her face to face? All notes like these do is piss people off and hinder communication. From the comments I read above, this whole blog appears to be frequented by those who think passive aggressive note writing is a GOOD thing!

  14. nothing screams ‘i need a single!’ like the ‘please take care of your bagel’ line. G-d how i hate rooming…with its empty tuna cans that certain unnnameable someones leave out for weeks, and which you feel too indignant about to toss yourself, yet too prissy to ask the culprit to do away with…

  15. How I agree with Ben and Perel.

  16. This note is an excellent example of roommates who think they’re doing everyone a favor when in reality they are completely insulting and offensive to the human race. This mentality is along the same lines of some of the largest human atrocities in the world. “Oh let me do you all a favor and take care of some ethnic cleansing. Thanks! P.S. Do you have a bagel? 🙂 Call me!”

  17. wow. get a life. communal doesn’t mean ‘keep it free & clear so i can use it’ last time i checked.

  18. heehee! wow, i bet she’s a hoot at parties!

  19. I don’t see how this is passive aggressive!

  20. These types of notes lead me to prayer. As in, “Thank God, Thank God, Thank God, I don’t have roommates anymore.”

    Seriously, God. Thank you.

  21. ANY note that would have been an easier face-to-face conversation if the note-writer had been an adult about it, to me, is PA. It’s childish and cowardly to hide behind notes about interpersonal issues.

  22. dear molly, please don’t be eetin no burgers. it ar offensive to the burgerlet race. also don’t be eetin no bagels, they is cuzzins.

    p.s. plz move out. kthx.

    wot?

  23. Damn. I think she needs to lighten up. Roomies can sleep on the couch when they get tired while watching t.v. or whatever, right?

  24. I wouldn’t have left a note, I would have just made as much noise as possible. He/she would wind up getting tired of getting woken up every time they feel asleep in the “communal” living area. If they complained, then I’d let them have it.

    Meanwhile, just know that you’re getting good practice for marriage and children.

    Fun, eh.

  25. ha…I wonder if the person who wrote this even knows what “communal” means. Cause Im sure it doesnt mean “Im the boss, do what I say, this is my room and I use it how I want, when I want” Which is pretty much what the note says…

  26. To be fair, Jacq, Molly was, at this point, sleeping on the couch every night. For about 2 weeks.
    She normally went to sleep around 4am and slept until well after noon. While she had no trouble getting up and moving- I can see how Amy would have been annoyed to jeep playing out the same scene of waking up with Molly apologizing every morning.

    Oh and she tivo’s Becker. THAT is what makes me want to kick her out- but I really don’t know how that note would go.

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  28. Hey, I got a message from you from myspace? I do have a myspace, but not for my blog. Sorry.

  29. Ugh, I had a horrible roomate that would do that too. I would confront her about sleeping, and she would get insanely angry.
    So I tried the other approach of making noise, and she would get up, huff and puff, and curse all the way to her room.

    So sadly, approaching her first AND THEN being passive-agressive didn’t work either.

    P.S. This is the same girl who would leave chicken skins on the counter, open pizza boxes on the floor, and half empty beer bottles stacked adjecent to the trash for weeks at at time. She was a winner!

    All I can say is, THANK GOD I don’t have to live with her anymore.

  30. Ben, of course this blog is filled with people who think passive agressive notes are a good thing. I, for example, wouldn’t have my daily laugh if it wasn’t for them.

  31. Agreed with mothmanbr… and LOL at all the comments to this one.

  32. Love this. I have to agree – Molly is an ass for doing that, but so is the note-writer.

  33. So, where was the bagel ? I’m such a perv!

  34. hmpff …i don’t think it was very polite of her to leave a note rather than talk to her about it!!! nerve she has to tell her roomie how annoying it is to find her bagel!!! i bet AMY is
    MISS PERFECTIONIST!!!

  35. i had a roommate once who swore up and down that she would keep her mess to her room.
    3 months into living together, in a two bedroom place, she started *living* in our living room. i couldn’t have anyone over without us by default having to hang out with her. she lost her job, and it got worse, and she just slept out on the couch, chain smoking in the only communal space in the apartment.
    me and my then boyfriend were the only ones also who cleaned the apartment, she stopped doing that shortly before she started living in the living room.

    this wouldn’t have been such a big deal, but we started getting bugs, and i started working 3rd shifts. i would get home in the morning and not be able to, say, watch TV or have some nice alone time on the couch. she would always be sleeping on it, she would also always have *just* gone to sleep about 3 hrs before i got home, and she would always wake up if i made any kind of noise.

    when i confronter her with the idea that perhaps i might like to use the communal spaces too, she claimed her bed was too hard to sleep on. which, yeah. awesome.

    i finally moved in with my boyfriend, and he’s the best roommate i’ve ever had. does the dishes even, and i never have to nag for him to do anything. we have compatible cleaning urges.

    roommates SUCK.

  36. Yeah…having a roommate sleeping on the living room couch until noon every day would annoy the crap outta me. And as for the idea of making a lot of noise around a sleeping person on purpose…how is that not the most passive aggressive thing in the world? It’s unpleasant to have to wake someone up. Beds are for sleeping in and sofas are for doing stuff that doesn’t make your roomates have to tiptoe around in the shared living space.

  37. Momma of a compulsive note sticker

    Well, after reading all the comments, all I can say is my 2 daughters have both had roomates from hell, and what goes around comes around. One daughter had a roomate with a boyfriend whom moved in, that stole $18,000 dollars worth of merchandise from BestBuy where he worked. BUT couldn’t afford to pay them a dime for the bills. Yes he is going to Jail, because of stupidity.

  38. can't help interfering

    dude, i totally think that she was right to write that note. for one: it sucks having a roommate that falls asleep wherever they want.
    for two: it was funny in a weird sort of way.

  39. Now I feel a little bad. I was pretty bad about falling asleep on the sofa pretty frequently. My two roommates would usually walk and do what ever they wanted to do though, I was a pretty heavy sleeper. Glad they were pretty easygoing though.

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  41. as a notorious passive aggressive person myself, I totally understand where note-leaver was coming from. I live in a house with six extremely filthy boys and have tried time and again to get them to wash their own dishes and maybe even occasionally take out the garbage, to no avail! I am constantly picking up after them, and am the only person in the house who cleans ever. I think they believe in magical cleaning fairies that take care of their empty bottles and dirty plates. I’ve recently resorted to passive-aggressive pranks to make myself feel better, such as stealing the batteries for the tv remote and adding an extra five bucks or so to the bill chart. childish? certainly, but it definately makes me feel better!

  42. How do you find these?

  43. Lisa, if you clean up after them, YOU are the magical cleaning fairy. They don’t need to believe.

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