let me help you out

pig.jpg

from an anonymous submitter in new york city, who explains: “i was out of the country for a week, and when I came back, I found this gem taped to the bathroom mirror….even though I’ve since moved out of the apartment (after she accused me of peeing on the bathroom floor and into the non-existent bathroom air freshener, and I decided I couldn’t take any more of her), she’s still around (we go to the same school), so I don’t want her to accidentally stumble upon this and cause me more hell.”

14 responses to “let me help you out

  1. hm….all good points.

  2. I love how it begins with “Pig,” (not even a “dear pig” or “hi pig” to soften the blow).

  3. i really like the author’s vocabulary. putrid is a wonderful word.

  4. I don’t know who to believe… I’ve had some bathroom-hygiene delusional roommates in my time, but I’m not banking on the anonymous sender.

  5. It’s a work of art.

  6. I would love to be accused of peeing in the air freshener, especially if it didn’t exist. What skill!

  7. I had an old roommate who used to accuse me of peeing on the floor, but I always used to pee sitting down so I could read at the same time — not that I could ever tell them that.

  8. i like the pointing out of the positives like making the shit IN the toilet! way to go!

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  10. how charming…

    i agree with joebec. the patronising is priceless.

  11. Ms. Anonymous

    I’m the “anonymous” person who submitted this note.
    tanglethis: I’m no bathroom Jesus, but I most definitely didn’t leave anything behind me when I was finished. Besides, being a girl, peeing on the floor would require certain acrobatic feats that I’m not exactly capable of.

    Speaking of bathroom hygiene, this girl also ripped down the shower curtain (even after I tried to replace it several times), and then accused me when the bathroom smelled dank from all the standing water on the bathroom floor. Ah, roommates.

  12. I LOVE that note! I don’t know if it’s deserved or not but I love the way it’s written. 9/10

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  14. Pig? Pig??? Amazing.

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