cereal killer


the cap’n is saying, “ian: If I catch you eating this delicious cereal, I’ll kill you in your sleep. love, dan.”

(“my roommate ian kept eating all the cereal i bought before i had a chance to have even a single bowl,” dan explains.)

17 responses to “cereal killer

  1. The title! So groan-worthy! But also, so perfect! 😉

  2. I love it! And it’s not really all that passive is it? It’s just straight up aggressive. Nice.

  3. i totally cannot blame dan, i think he’s taking the right measures for this problem. go dan!

  4. Don’t mess with anyone’s Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries, dammit! Excellent use of “Call-Out” interaction!

  5. gosh,
    i had a room-mate named dan, but he was never this mean.

    ian in hamburg

  6. My favorite part is the “Love, Dan”… way to show him that you still care but will not tolerate the cereal-swiping LOL

  7. LOL Oh man. I love the evilness. Too great. If I were Ian I’d be shaking in my jammies.

    Do you think this would work for my Golden Grahams???

  8. Such a lovely advert for captain crunch’s. Maybe they should use that in a commercial of how their cereal is sooo addictively good that it turns people into killers just to protect their precious cereal stash.

  9. Love it. Lucky for me my roomie is nice and lets me eat her cereal because I ALWAYS do it.

  10. Crunch berries are sacred… and the perfect ratio per spoon full is three biscuits per berry. And it still kind of makes the roof of my mouth raw. To think of someone STEALING it.

    This is why I live alone.

  11. wealthyspirit57

    I love this sh*t! Thank you, I feel that I can deal
    with my passive/aggressive client a lot easier now. Although she’ll probably wonder why I’m
    grinnin’ at her.

  12. Ceral killer..lmao I will kill you in your sleep…damn thats some rough stuff

  13. I can’t stop laughing at the fact that he wrote “this delicious cereal”, as if enticing him or perhaps mocking him… I’m not sure which, but I’m still laughing…

    Oh, and Golden Grahams DO rock!

  14. BWAHAHAHA! x.x the more of these notes I read the better they get.

  15. Wonderful use of the cold blooded threat there…
    You cannot obtain Cap’n Crunch in the UK. Dammit! Always wanted to try them…

  16. roommate Rehab

    I read this site daily as a reminder to why I will NEVER EVER have another roommate for the remainder of the days I walk this planet.
    My former roommates used to pull asinine immature selfish bullshit like this all the time.
    My fave being what I refer to as “the eyedropper” effect.
    Instead of throwing out the empty milk or juice container that I bought that they so selfishly polished off , instead they leave an eye droppers worth in the bottom of it so theoretically they didnt consume “all” of the OJ or milk.

    Goddamn fucking pigs, I want to find their parents & slap them.
    this is the world today too, girls are just as big of lazy hawgs as guyz now .
    cant even wipe their asses.
    college graduated, GROWN ASS men & women Im talkin bout here.

  17. haha that’s good. that box looked big. how fast does ian eat?

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