this room is protected by the constitution

this isn’t just a note — it’s a work of art. and it’s about 100 shades of amazing.

i’ll let rich explain:

i had a party at my house once in college, and one of our roommates who was going to be gone was really scared that someone was going to sleep in his bed. so, instead of, you know, telling us not to use his room, he decided to post this hilarious note that only an aspiring personal injury lawyer could produce.

42 responses to “this room is protected by the constitution

  1. thats crazy…you may want to black out his phone # though…wouldn’t want to get sued 😉

  2. This is by far my favorite note you’ve shared. Bravo.

  3. melodymcfarland

    That is just awesome. Definitely the best note yet. I love smart asses.

  4. Can you say first year law student?

  5. This dude is scary! I bet he has all the attributes of a disgruntled postal worker…

  6. Anyone who has worked in any kind of government job with security clearances knows that it is YOUR responsibility to protect classified information. YOU can be held responsible if you don’t keep it locked up in a classified safe, and are never supposed to let it out of your possession otherwise. So leaving a note on a door to a bedroom when you’re away for a weekend saying “There’s classified information in here, don’t read it or you could be arrested or sued or worse!” is just laughable.

    The Law Offices of Verle W. Norris might be interested in knowing that one of their 1st year law students could be sued for negligence with respect to taking proper precautions with “classified” documents.

  7. what a schmuck! Why doesn’t he just lock his room?

  8. Well, after reading that, I would definitely have to go in there.

  9. why would anyone take a dyslexic three year old’s scrawlings seriously?

  10. Man, how much extra time did he take writing that note vs. just putting a lock on the damn door?

    I bet he labels his groceries in the fridge the same way! “This Hot Pocket is protected by Federal Interstate Trade laws…”

  11. He obviously thinks he is more than he really is.

  12. Sadly, none of the various sites associated with the law offices of Verle W. Norris offers anything even remotely entertaining. Attorney Norris appears to work mostly in administrative law, however, so pursuing trespassers may not be his specialty. But I guess that when you’re talking about an injustice as egregious as getting drunk and passing out on a stranger’s bed, the entire legal community must stand ready to defend its own.

  13. Sadly, there were about 50 people like this in my law school class. G-d, why didn’t I just get an MBA instead?

  14. lovley art, hihihi, just love it

    kindly sofia

  15. Hooooooly shit. You know, it’s not illegal to be in the same room as those documents. It’s just illegal to read them or to take them into your own possession. Any first-year law student should know that, as should anyone with any vague understanding of the word “classified.” …Meaning, I would definitely have to open the door. Of course, knowing him, he’d probably have set up booby traps or something.

  16. Ok..that was just awesome. I better not show this to my son however…like he needs more reason to keep his sisters out of his room.

  17. I’d love to know how this turned out.

    Also, I agree with the above. How about a lock?

  18. Man, it’d take every ounce of self-control I had not to scrawl YOU ARE A FUCKING TOOL all over that thing in sharpie.


  19. haha, the area code on the number is the same as mine… he must live in st. louis! this guy is hilarious. i want to meet him, if only to encourage the writing of more notes like the above.

    can you imagine what would ensue if someone stole HIS hot pocket?

  20. imp queen world monarch

    @ hooper_x:

    Write out loud, dude. Write out loud.

  21. wow, it’s like he posted a big ol’ sign on his door saying “I AM A TOOL PLEASE SHIT ON MY BED (PS I MAY BE MENTALLY ILL — LOOK AT MY CRAZY HANDWRITING).

  22. Amazing. He must be an attorney.

  23. greenmetropolis

    For someone so apparently educated, I hope he was later informed that ‘disrespect’ is not a verb.

    Actually, yes, “disrespect” can be used as a verb.

    My question, however, is this: Why the hell didn’t he just type it out?!

  25. Nice! I work in a hospital so we have notes like this up everywhere, most of them just as funny. I’ll try and get my camera working so I can submit them.

    Let’s just hope that this law student had a good relaxing vacation… sounds like he needed it.

  26. greenmetropolis

    Mmmm. Good to know, ocd (appropriate acronym, I likey!)
    I was taught it was proper to ‘be disrespectful’ or to ‘show disrespect’. But I will pass the link on to my highschool psych teacher; she was planning on starting a cult surrounding the use of the word ‘disrespect’. Delicious.

    Either way, the topic at hand is that this guy is a moron and quite possibly nuts. Did anyone care what was in his room before he posted the note?

  27. Actually, he must live near me. Cell #’s in my area are sometimes 319-350-####. So he’s in eastern Iowa, probably around Cedar Rapids/Iowa City. Plus he refers to Iowa Code.

    ‘Tools’ must be prosecuted to the full extent of the law!

  28. can this be considered a legal document? i don’t think so. it would’ve been gold if he had it notarized.

    plus, if his roommates are legally living under the same roof, they can’t be fined for trespassing. maybe they should call his boss and let them know that he left some classified documents behind. what a schmuck.

    he should:
    #1-get a lock
    #2-get a grip

  29. So, did anyone go in the room? And did he find out?

  30. Hijole! Destined to work for the government.

  31. I imagine this douchebag reading this aloud through his braces, shhpeaking like thiissshh.

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  34. My name is Gossip.
    I heard a terrible concersation yesterday. So cruel

  35. The tempatation to draw a big cock and balls on those ‘signs’ and then go in and throw up on his bed would be insurmountable. What a dick.

    Loving the site – just discovered it – genius.

  36. THAT ROCKS! Well, it does if my 7 year old wrote it. Sorta self-involved coming from an adult.

  37. After reading that set of crap by some self important little twat I would feel obliged to SHITE in his bed and wipe my ARSE with his precious legal documents…

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  39. I would have provoked him and left his door wide open with his bed all messed up.


  40. It seems a bit odd that the note-writer thought this would PREVENT people from entering his room. Maybe a better note would have been “Careful of roaches if you enter.” Or something. You could probably get a lot more creative with it than that. Otherwise, what’s the point? No self-respecting college student sees notes like this and doesn’t do exactly the opposite of what they say. Three pages? That’s just asking for it.

  41. Hm! Someone’s parents are getting their money’s worth.

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