Category Archives: not-so-veiled threats

this room is protected by the constitution

this isn’t just a note — it’s a work of art. and it’s about 100 shades of amazing.

i’ll let rich explain:

i had a party at my house once in college, and one of our roommates who was going to be gone was really scared that someone was going to sleep in his bed. so, instead of, you know, telling us not to use his room, he decided to post this hilarious note that only an aspiring personal injury lawyer could produce.

cereal killer


the cap’n is saying, “ian: If I catch you eating this delicious cereal, I’ll kill you in your sleep. love, dan.”

(“my roommate ian kept eating all the cereal i bought before i had a chance to have even a single bowl,” dan explains.)

yeah, i got fired…but that hot pocket sure was worth it.

this exercise in redundancy is brought to us by erika in los angeles. it’s like the note-writer couldn’t decide which tactic would be most effective and just opted for all of the above.


i’ll break your arm


i just love the backwards logic of “don’t touch” notes that add a more specific (and superfluous) imperative as an afterthought — like “or eat” in this one.

as an interesting coda to this note, jim in minneapolis says his former roommate “later got a can of pink spray paint and circled the potholes in our driveway, drew arrows to them, and wrote THIS IS AN ISSUE on the asphalt. he drove a jeep, too, so I don’t know what his problem was.”

the mad bomber, act 3: we are watching you

if you missed them, act 1 and act 2.

mad bomber, act 3

sadly, season one of this series ends with a dramatic cliffhanger ending!

will the mad bomber be caught in the act? will richard g. sells post another sign outing the bomber for public humiliation and condemnation?

we can only hope.

care: it makes a difference

this girl is like the archetypal freshman roommate, no?


from megan in charleston, who was not the slob that this note might suggest.

next time, go for the fiji?


this fiendishly funny note comes to us courtesy of jennifer in philly, who does not condone the theft of bottled water of any kind.