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i swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign

May 29, 2007 · 25 Comments

…but hot pockets are totally the car radios of the communal freezer.

exhibit a: new york city hotpocketnyc.jpg

exhibit b: southern oregon

hotpocket1shaggy.jpg

exhibit c: washington, d.c.

hotpocketapa.jpg

exhibit d: oahu, hawaii

hotoahu.jpg

thanks to beth at columbia and dj shaggy for their help in uncovering this phenomenon.

Categories: exclamation-point happy! · hot pocket · office fridge · sad face · spelling and grammar police · stealing · underlining · unnecessary "quotation marks" · whiteboard · workplace

25 responses so far ↓

  • nikki // May 29, 2007 at 1:23 am

    this is my favorite so far

  • TheShortFatKid // May 29, 2007 at 7:05 am

    hot pockets are a hot theft item and responsible for the riun of many o’ work microwave. They blow-up big time when they are put in too long.

  • Marnie // May 29, 2007 at 8:12 am

    Number three is so so so my favorite for it’s plethora of grammar mistakes and because the person topped it off with a “shall not.”
    How very biblical.
    Now, I wish I had a hot pocket.

  • carolbrowne // May 29, 2007 at 8:46 am

    I had no idea there was such a hot pocket problem in the world. Shocking!

  • Anhoni // May 29, 2007 at 9:10 am

    Who knew these items were the crack cocaine of the food world? People will lie, cheat, steal and possibly ruins their lives just for a taste.

    I liked the last submit of the photos of the convenience store thieves. I used to work at a bookstore and we did that with shoplifters. Good times.

  • cape buffalo // May 29, 2007 at 9:58 am

    that first one needs to be forwarded to the overlords at the unnecessary quotation marks blog.

  • krkbaker // May 29, 2007 at 10:03 am

    It seems that hot pockets may perhaps be the car radios of a shared freezer. Perhaps easier to steal because it only takes a couple of minutes to cook them. So you’re in and out. Funny. kim

  • Tatyana // May 29, 2007 at 10:24 am

    I LOVE hotpockets, and have been said to closely resemble one.

  • Lara // May 29, 2007 at 10:30 am

    Hot pocket theifs should be dealt with by using the fullest extent of the law.

  • joebec // May 29, 2007 at 11:46 am

    OMG, hot pockets really ARE that good! i’m gonna have to try them for myself. i wonder who’s i can steal… LOL :D

  • Lexi // May 29, 2007 at 3:47 pm

    People at my work LOVE to steal hotpockets (or my lean pockets). I have had them stolen from me multiple times. I can’t write a note cause HR would no approve of that. Oh well. The only thing I can do is continue to write my name on the box and keep my fingers crossed.

  • Top Posts « WordPress.com // May 29, 2007 at 7:02 pm

    [...] i swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign …but hot pockets are totally the car radios of the communal freezer. exhibit a: new york city [image] exhibit b: […] [...]

  • Chriz // May 29, 2007 at 10:22 pm

    Whom needs a grammar lesson?

  • bluespike // May 30, 2007 at 12:51 am

    love the sad smiley in the first one

  • whatladder // May 30, 2007 at 1:30 am

    That reminds me of my mother’s favourite joke:

    Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    F*ck.
    F*ck who?
    F*uck WHOM.

  • themrs07 // May 30, 2007 at 5:36 pm

    Hot pockets are effin disgusting. Who the hell would be desperate enough to steal ‘em MUST be hungrier than hell.. let ‘em have ‘em. Ugh.

  • seamus // May 30, 2007 at 10:06 pm

    Jim Gaffigan has a joke that goes something like:

    “You what no one has ever said before? ‘Wow, eating that Hot Pocket sure was a good idea. I am glad I did that.’”

  • scottyf311 // May 31, 2007 at 2:08 pm

    If hot pockets weren’t so portable and delicious, this wouldn’t be a problem, now huh???

  • Hamilton Lovecraft // June 1, 2007 at 1:03 am

    This aggression will not stand, man!

  • LQP // June 1, 2007 at 10:49 am

    Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded by writing this passive-aggressive haiku (or something similar, I can’t recall it exactly) and posting it on the fridge:

    Dear Hot Pocket Thief:
    I hope that it tastes like guilt,
    So hot and delish

    The next day there was a note from the Hot Pocket thief who was profuse in his/her apology, as well as two new replacement boxes of hot pockets.

    I felt really terrible despite it all, and attempt to curb any passive aggressive behavior from myself.

  • commenter confessions: dealing with office thieves « passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers // June 1, 2007 at 11:16 pm

    [...] “i swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign”, LQP says: Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded [...]

  • Hellen // June 4, 2007 at 10:13 am

    Jim Gaffigan – Hot Pocketsssss…..Pope Pocketsssss!!! (Just go to YouTube and type in hot pockets and his name, Jim Gaffigan, you will die from laughing!!!!)

  • Apparently Richard Stallman thinks he's hilarious in Spanish « Sitting at my Ono Sendai // June 5, 2007 at 9:13 am

    [...] Edit_1: It has recently come to my attention that hot pockets are the most commonly stolen office food item [...]

  • Weeble // June 6, 2007 at 10:21 am

    I always have granola bars and various food items in my office as I like to graze during the day. I share them with anyone who asks, but they started disappearing when I wasn’t around. So I set up a webcam on “motion detect” and discovered it was not who I thought was the perpetrator. But before I could confront him (and I planned to just tell him to ask first as I rely on the food being there) he got fired when they discovered he stole a half dozen laptops. Way to steal my thunder with the rice crispie bar thefts!

  • Stalin // June 26, 2007 at 8:24 pm

    LQP, last time you told that story it was one box!

    THE HOTPOCKETS ARE BREEDING IN THERE

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